The Mennonite Game

If you’ve spent any time with so-called “ethnic” (i.e. Swiss German or Russian) Mennonites, you’ve noticed some weird and freaky connections happening.

If you stranded a group of Mennonites who didn’t really know each other on a desert island, the first thing they would do is figure out how they were all connected and who was related to whom. Once that was out of the way, they could get around to the less critical business of food, water, shelter, etc.

The uncovering and discovering of these familial connections is called The Mennonite Game. And those family genealogy books that Mennonites put on their shelves? Simply guides for better playing.

Mennonite Game Rules for Play

To Start
Approach a person you’ve never met before at church or at a Mennonite event. If it’s your home church, you are responsible for the approach and friendly greeting. If it’s a neutral site, either party can approach the other. Hands are generally shaken—if they aren’t full of a bible, binder, book, bulletin, etc.

Note: if you are not on your home turf – for example, if this is your first visit to a strange church – you might notice the person who’s greeting you looking at you oddly. This is because they’re trying to figure out if you’ve ever actually BEEN to the church before and if they know you. It’s best, if you notice this puzzled look, to quickly offer your name and why you are visiting.

To Play
A standard Mennonite Game exchange might go like this:
James: Hi, I’m James Miller.
Karen: I’m Karen Martin.
James: Nice to meet you, Karen. Where are you from?
Karen: I live in Lancaster.*
James: Oh, great. I know some folks in Lancaster. Where do you go to church?
Karen: Typical Mennonite Church (note: not a real church)
James: *nods* Ah, yes. Maybe you know my cousin, Paul Lehman. He attended there a few years ago.
Karen: Oh, of course! Paul’s daughter Linda is married to my best friend’s brother.
James: You mean Doug Weaver?
Karen: Yes. They live down the street from me.
*end scene*

This is only one small connection of the many that Karen and James will no doubt uncover before they have to go to Sunday school (or rather, before James goes to Sunday school and Karen bails, because who wants to go to Sunday school at a strange new church?)

Once you have mastered the standard exchange, you are free to deviate from it and work outside the lines.

*Regular players will not need anymore clarification than this. If you say Lancaster in the Mennonite game, you mean Lancaster, PA.

Note: If you wish to be polite, but aren’t feeling the connection, simply learn to say “The name sounds familiar, but I can’t place it.” This allows you to stay in the game, but puts an end to a particular line of questioning—provided, of course, your partner is willing to give up and isn’t a hardcore player who’s bound and determined to find a connection SOMEWHERE.

*

The argument against the Mennonite game, and it’s a good one, is that it excludes those who can’t play. And this is true. If you’re not from a Mennonite background, if you grew up in a city that’s not really connected with the larger church, if you just hate talking about your nutball family – well, you’re probably not going to enjoy or appreciate the game.

And that leads to the kind of overall question behind this blog: What makes a Mennonite, well, Mennonite?